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30 Days of Gratitude - Day #19 - Modern appliances
Other than for popcorn...
Being Italian, I spent a lot of time as a child in the kitchen watching my parents cook. I still spend a lot of time in the kitchen. I have pretty good cooking skills and a whole myriad of modern kitchen appliances at my disposal. How much I take said appliances for granted was never more apparent to me that when I found an old Creole cookbook from 1885 that was compiled by Creole housewives in Louisiana. The recipes are fascinating and absolutely unfixable. Remember that these women did not have electric stove with timers and thermometers. Wood stoves were heated to hot or warm or very hot, whatever that means. Ingredients were measured in a pinch, a dab or a bit. They just knew. Now, we have a slew of cooking shows on the Food network touting our ability to make meals in under 30 minutes of less. One thing I am beginning to learn is that with each new fangled shiny toy that is presented to me, I take for granted not only the simplicity of what I used to have but the ease of using something new. For example, I complained when my wireless router died and I could only used the land line in my bedroom. Then my internet went out almost completely and I’d be more than happy if the land line worked now. I think my kitchen works much the same way.
So what am I going to do about it?
I need to treat all my appliances with a little more love. AT the same time, I need to not be so dependent on them and on the ease. I can live more simply in my home. I was thinking recently about what I would do if I could remodel my kitchen and I really wondered if a microwave was really necessary. Other than to make popcorn, do I really need to have one? I am going to work to abandoned less healthy processed and premade food and make use of things in my house that I can use to make healthier fresh food. For example, why buy canned tomatoes for spaghetti sauce when I have fresh tomatoes at the store and a food processor?
What about you?
What do you have in the kitchen that is going unused? How can you do less with more? Think about it. That last statement is not as weird as you think.
Being Italian, I spent a lot of time as a child in the kitchen watching my parents cook. I still spend a lot of time in the kitchen. I have pretty good cooking skills and a whole myriad of modern kitchen appliances at my disposal. How much I take said appliances for granted was never more apparent to me that when I found an old Creole cookbook from 1885 that was compiled by Creole housewives in Louisiana. The recipes are fascinating and absolutely unfixable. Remember that these women did not have electric stove with timers and thermometers. Wood stoves were heated to hot or warm or very hot, whatever that means. Ingredients were measured in a pinch, a dab or a bit. They just knew. Now, we have a slew of cooking shows on the Food network touting our ability to make meals in under 30 minutes of less. One thing I am beginning to learn is that with each new fangled shiny toy that is presented to me, I take for granted not only the simplicity of what I used to have but the ease of using something new. For example, I complained when my wireless router died and I could only used the land line in my bedroom. Then my internet went out almost completely and I’d be more than happy if the land line worked now. I think my kitchen works much the same way.
So what am I going to do about it?
I need to treat all my appliances with a little more love. AT the same time, I need to not be so dependent on them and on the ease. I can live more simply in my home. I was thinking recently about what I would do if I could remodel my kitchen and I really wondered if a microwave was really necessary. Other than to make popcorn, do I really need to have one? I am going to work to abandoned less healthy processed and premade food and make use of things in my house that I can use to make healthier fresh food. For example, why buy canned tomatoes for spaghetti sauce when I have fresh tomatoes at the store and a food processor?
What about you?
What do you have in the kitchen that is going unused? How can you do less with more? Think about it. That last statement is not as weird as you think.
30 Days of Gratitude - Day #18 - My Education
I'm only using 1% of my brain.
I have a wicked high IQ. I have a degree that though I technically don’t use everyday, means quite a bit to me. However, I have fallen prey to the dumbing down of America. Now, there are some lines that I will draw. I pride myself on having a slight bit of intellectual snobbery to my persona. I own the entire series of the West Wing on DVD. This does not make me a better person than anyone but it makes me happy that this is my preference over most reality TV shows. Most. My guilty pleasure is that I will watch Real Housewives of Anywhere in America at any given time. As in, drop everything and watch until the whole marathon is over. As a matter of fact, I am watching Real Housewives of New York City as I write this. As much as I may enjoy it, it is doing nothing to feel my brain and pay respect to my education. I need to be more grateful for the opportunity I was afforded in being able to get a college education.
So what am I going to do about it?
My degree is in English. Part of my choice in doing that is that I was horribly lazy (still am) in college and really, if my homework was one of my favorite hobbies, reading, that I was in like Flynn. I taught high school English for four years and was continually being introduced to amazing books, new authors, time tested classics and world literature. When I quite teaching, one thing I missed so much was being able to sit around a table with colleagues and talk about books and me complete “lit. geeks.” I’d like spend just a little less time each month doing mindless things like watching TV and surfing the net and pick up a good book instead. I’d like to combine the idea of wanting to get together with girlfriends more and start a book club. There’s accountability, which is needed, and the opportunity to quality time with friends.
What about you?
How are you using that big bad brain of yours? What are your guilty pleasures and how do you find balance?
I have a wicked high IQ. I have a degree that though I technically don’t use everyday, means quite a bit to me. However, I have fallen prey to the dumbing down of America. Now, there are some lines that I will draw. I pride myself on having a slight bit of intellectual snobbery to my persona. I own the entire series of the West Wing on DVD. This does not make me a better person than anyone but it makes me happy that this is my preference over most reality TV shows. Most. My guilty pleasure is that I will watch Real Housewives of Anywhere in America at any given time. As in, drop everything and watch until the whole marathon is over. As a matter of fact, I am watching Real Housewives of New York City as I write this. As much as I may enjoy it, it is doing nothing to feel my brain and pay respect to my education. I need to be more grateful for the opportunity I was afforded in being able to get a college education.
So what am I going to do about it?
My degree is in English. Part of my choice in doing that is that I was horribly lazy (still am) in college and really, if my homework was one of my favorite hobbies, reading, that I was in like Flynn. I taught high school English for four years and was continually being introduced to amazing books, new authors, time tested classics and world literature. When I quite teaching, one thing I missed so much was being able to sit around a table with colleagues and talk about books and me complete “lit. geeks.” I’d like spend just a little less time each month doing mindless things like watching TV and surfing the net and pick up a good book instead. I’d like to combine the idea of wanting to get together with girlfriends more and start a book club. There’s accountability, which is needed, and the opportunity to quality time with friends.
What about you?
How are you using that big bad brain of yours? What are your guilty pleasures and how do you find balance?
30 Days of Gratitude - Day #17 - Paying my bills
Excuse me, do you have money tree? Well, I certainly do not. But I am incredibly fortunate in that at the end of the month I can pay all of my bills. In this day and age, that makes me incredibly lucky. The unemployment rate is ridiculous, people have gone through pay cuts and refinancing anything is completely out of the question. Still, I am not as good with money as I should be. I take for granted that I have can make bills and often feel like I’m looking a gift horse in the mouth. What would happen if I did lose my job? What if I got sick? Injured? Crap. I’d be in a world of hurt. If I lost my job and was out of work for 6 months, I am stretched so thin that I’d never be able to make my house payment. I would, essentially, lose my home. Gone. What I need to do is not take the present for granted by planning for the future.
So what am I going to do about it?
Oddly, I have a budget. I create a budget every year on New Year’s Day and it’s lovely. About January 12th, I have completely forgotten about it. Okay, I’ll give myself a little more credit than that. It’s more like the 20th. Again, absolute ridiculousness on my part. What I need to do is stick with it and find ways to track every expense. I can shamefully say that I have no idea where my money goes but it sure goes out the window. I like to think I’m thrifty, and I am to an extent. But really, I am careless. In tracking my expenses and looking at where my money goes I am going to focus on how I can reduce those expenses (Day 14’s reduction in energy usage?) and save more money. I carry some big debt and it needs to go away. Even more important than that, I need to get to a point where I can save money for a rainy day and not spend it all trying to pay off bills. It’s time that I looked at my whole financial future and put a plan together. I’d like to create a one, three and five year plan to start.
What about you?
Tell me how you do it or what keeps you from doing it? Do you have a budget? A plan? How do you make sure you and your family are taken care of not only in the present but the long term?
30 Days of Gratitude - Day #16 - Food on my table
There is no blue food. Blue food signifies death.
Erma Bombeck said this is regard to cleaning out your refrigerator. I agree completely. Sadly, my fridge is a shameful wasteland of items that sometimes rarely resemble what they started life out as. On the other hand, you should see my parent's fridge. How they raised me to be like me is beyond any comprehension. My mom keeps her fridge perfect. It's organized, you can find things and there is never anything in the bottom of the produce drawer that may have gone through an entire harvesting season since she purchased it. My fridge is where strange food items like jicama go to die.
I think there is an inherent difference between my mother and I, above the fact that she is a well organized functional member of society and I am a horrific slack ass. My mother's parents lived through the depression and she didn't really have much money growing up. My grandmother knew how to take a piece of meat and make it last for days. There was no such thing as waste. I love my mom for taking home the ham bone on Easter so she could make lentil or pea soup with it. I never doubted for a second that she would follow through. Me? I would have taken that thing home and stuck it in the back of the fridge only to pull it out about three days past the usable point and thrown it away. Hence, I firmly believe that if my grand mother were still alive, she would disown me.
If I've said it once during this project, I've said it a dozen times. Waste equals in gratitude. I jump frolic through life thinking that there will always be this lovely bounty of food for me to waste as I see fit. I can't even bring myself to nag my daughter with the starving kids in Africa speech because I'd feel so hypocritical.
So what am I going to go about it?
There are a few things I can do. One is pretty damn easy and, again, just requires me to get off my butt and resolve to do it. I need to make a weekly planner of menus so that when I go to the store I know what I'm eating when and what I need to make it and how left overs fit into the picture. One dinner's pork roast makes next day's quesadillas for lunch. It ridiculously simple which really makes me wonder how far down the taking this for granted road I actually am. I'd say pretty far. Not only will this help in not buying things that will sit in the fridge but it will help me to end up eating better and spending less money. I can't imagine how much money I've wasted in wasting food. Sorry, Grandma. I mean no disrespect.
To me, another way to show gratitude for having a food supply readily available and the money to buy it is to celebrate it. Food is such a rich part of the Italian culture and I would love more than anything for it to be a way to bring people together at my home. I love to cook and live to feed people. I also love the idea of people coming together and sharing food they've made. It's a strange community building that happens around food. What better way to spend time with people than by breaking bread together.
What about you?
How do you celebrate and abundance of food? How do you keep yourself from being wasteful? Please share. I need all the help I can get!
Erma Bombeck said this is regard to cleaning out your refrigerator. I agree completely. Sadly, my fridge is a shameful wasteland of items that sometimes rarely resemble what they started life out as. On the other hand, you should see my parent's fridge. How they raised me to be like me is beyond any comprehension. My mom keeps her fridge perfect. It's organized, you can find things and there is never anything in the bottom of the produce drawer that may have gone through an entire harvesting season since she purchased it. My fridge is where strange food items like jicama go to die.
I think there is an inherent difference between my mother and I, above the fact that she is a well organized functional member of society and I am a horrific slack ass. My mother's parents lived through the depression and she didn't really have much money growing up. My grandmother knew how to take a piece of meat and make it last for days. There was no such thing as waste. I love my mom for taking home the ham bone on Easter so she could make lentil or pea soup with it. I never doubted for a second that she would follow through. Me? I would have taken that thing home and stuck it in the back of the fridge only to pull it out about three days past the usable point and thrown it away. Hence, I firmly believe that if my grand mother were still alive, she would disown me.
If I've said it once during this project, I've said it a dozen times. Waste equals in gratitude. I jump frolic through life thinking that there will always be this lovely bounty of food for me to waste as I see fit. I can't even bring myself to nag my daughter with the starving kids in Africa speech because I'd feel so hypocritical.
So what am I going to go about it?
There are a few things I can do. One is pretty damn easy and, again, just requires me to get off my butt and resolve to do it. I need to make a weekly planner of menus so that when I go to the store I know what I'm eating when and what I need to make it and how left overs fit into the picture. One dinner's pork roast makes next day's quesadillas for lunch. It ridiculously simple which really makes me wonder how far down the taking this for granted road I actually am. I'd say pretty far. Not only will this help in not buying things that will sit in the fridge but it will help me to end up eating better and spending less money. I can't imagine how much money I've wasted in wasting food. Sorry, Grandma. I mean no disrespect.
To me, another way to show gratitude for having a food supply readily available and the money to buy it is to celebrate it. Food is such a rich part of the Italian culture and I would love more than anything for it to be a way to bring people together at my home. I love to cook and live to feed people. I also love the idea of people coming together and sharing food they've made. It's a strange community building that happens around food. What better way to spend time with people than by breaking bread together.
What about you?
How do you celebrate and abundance of food? How do you keep yourself from being wasteful? Please share. I need all the help I can get!
30 Days of Gratitude - Day #15 - Vacation Time
197 Hours I have to use...This is how much vacation time I have accrued. Oddly, you're supposed to stop accruing it after 160 hours but our payroll company can't seem to figure out how to get it to stop accruing. All we recognize is that should I ever leave my job, I only get paid for 160 hours of it. 197 hours. I have been with my job for 6 years.
The sad thing about it is that I get three weeks a year vacation. I have so much accrued because I am horrific at taking it. I think it goes back to when I was a teacher. We had so much time off that it seemed odd taking time off and when you did you had to call a substitute and get ready for that. It seemed like much more hassle than it was worth. This coupled with the silly idea that if I take a day off it might in convenience co-workers because God forbid someone should need something and I 'm not there. It's the most selfless and self absorbed act I can think of.
The sad thing about the matter is that my boyfriend is still in the first five years of employment at his work and only gets two weeks off. We struggle to plan our vacations so we can maximize his time off but I still never end up taking anywhere near mine. I am given this time to recharge my batteries and spend time with family and I don't. I completely take it for granted and if I was in a situation where I had to start all over again, I'd be in a world of hurt.
So what am I going to do about it?
I'm going to realize that work will survive without me. If they need something while I'm gone, they can wait. My life can't wait. I'm taking more time off. I am going to to plan to dwindle that 160 hours down. Last year, I took the first week long vacation I'd taken in eight years. Eight years. How sad is that?
I'm going to make some plans and take the time I actually need. Summer is slow at work so I am going to plan a few inexpensive vacations. I have the great advantage of Mexico being cheap and only a 4 hour drive away. We have family to visit so there will be time to spend in Iowa being lazy and laid back and letting my daughter run crazy. Now is the time to do it. I don't want to be the person than has "She never missed a day of work" written on er tombstone.
What about you?
Are there benefits you get from your job that really you just let sit there? Do you maximize the vacation time you get? 401K match? Tuition reimbursement? It's out there for you. Use it!
30 Days of Gratitude - Day #14 - Modern Energy
Bathroom? Okay, well, head south about 20 yards...
Functional utilities should absolutely boggle my mind. And by that I mean completely mystify me like fax machines did back in the late 80's. Imagine this, I work in the back yard and sweat in the Arizona heat for about 35 minutes (all you can take to be outdoors in Arizona) and then I can come in and drag my grungy self to the bathroom. I turn on the shower and WATER! Oh my God! Free flowing! Immediate! Holy crap! That is awesome!
That's not my reaction. My reaction is much closer to, "Oh, c'mon, why does it take so damn long for the hot water to get fro the hot water heater?" And, of course, I say this as a steady stream of water is just pouring out of my shower while I stand there waiting for it to get hot enough. Welcome to Vanessa's Wasteful Life, Episode Two!
The same thing goes for electricity. I had about a good two minutes of solid gratitude for electricity about two moths ago when I thought I had burned up an outlet and fried my fridge. I flipped the breaker and all was fine and so I went back to mindlessly taking electricity for granted. It's like I have this overwhelming sense of entitlement to really cold orange juice.
So what am I going to do about it?
I thought about this when my Southwest Gas and City of Phoenix Water Bill came in. My Arizona Public Service (electric) bill comes next week. My bills are pretty high. Really, I could do much much better with all the energy used in my house. My goal for the next month is to reduce my energy output by 10%. It's going to require a lot of work but is still attainable. If I find it's been too easy, I'll try and scale back to 20%. It will be incredibly hard as summer comes around in Arizona but there are a number of things I can do including:
What about you?
No one actually sets out to waste energy. It just happens. What do you do that really could be changed easily?
Functional utilities should absolutely boggle my mind. And by that I mean completely mystify me like fax machines did back in the late 80's. Imagine this, I work in the back yard and sweat in the Arizona heat for about 35 minutes (all you can take to be outdoors in Arizona) and then I can come in and drag my grungy self to the bathroom. I turn on the shower and WATER! Oh my God! Free flowing! Immediate! Holy crap! That is awesome!
That's not my reaction. My reaction is much closer to, "Oh, c'mon, why does it take so damn long for the hot water to get fro the hot water heater?" And, of course, I say this as a steady stream of water is just pouring out of my shower while I stand there waiting for it to get hot enough. Welcome to Vanessa's Wasteful Life, Episode Two!
The same thing goes for electricity. I had about a good two minutes of solid gratitude for electricity about two moths ago when I thought I had burned up an outlet and fried my fridge. I flipped the breaker and all was fine and so I went back to mindlessly taking electricity for granted. It's like I have this overwhelming sense of entitlement to really cold orange juice.
So what am I going to do about it?
I thought about this when my Southwest Gas and City of Phoenix Water Bill came in. My Arizona Public Service (electric) bill comes next week. My bills are pretty high. Really, I could do much much better with all the energy used in my house. My goal for the next month is to reduce my energy output by 10%. It's going to require a lot of work but is still attainable. If I find it's been too easy, I'll try and scale back to 20%. It will be incredibly hard as summer comes around in Arizona but there are a number of things I can do including:
- Turning off the shower while I wash my hair
- Turning the heating setting down on the hot water heater
- Actually turning off lights when I leave the house
What about you?
No one actually sets out to waste energy. It just happens. What do you do that really could be changed easily?
30 Days of Gratitude - Day #13 - Love
All you need is love...
I thought there was no way for me to win for losing. I had given up. At 34 I was sitting pretty with a divorce under my belt and a good string of foolish and failed relationships. I was done and threw in the towel. Then a shy, sweet, adorable red headed man walked into my life. It was exactly what everyone says would happen the minute I stopped looking.
There are many times I look at my boyfriend and tell him that I still can't believe my luck. We both got lucky and that's not me tooting my own horn. We both agree that we felt the odds were stacked against us when it came to finding someone. Oddly, over the last year and a half we've realized that there were several times in the last ten years that we were in the same place at the same time and never noticed each other. It just wasn't then right time back then.
I'm also fortunate in that I'm free to love whoever I want. It wasn't always like this for people and still isn't in some places. I knew two girls in high school who were from Pakistan and I remember them telling me that someday their marriages would be arranged. I can only imagine what it was like 50 years ago when the ramifications for interracial relationships were vast. I also hate the fact that this still exists in that some groups are simply told their love just doesn't count.
So what am I going to do about it?
I tell my boyfriend every day how much I love him. I'm sure it's almost annoying. I can't help it. I'm completely nuts about they guy. I also want to recognize the fact that I worked hard to be in a place where this was able to happen for me and he did as well. When I started training to be a coach, I didn't have much focus. Thinking about this brings me around to something.
What I'd like to do is frame some work and coaching around relationships. How better to celebrate being in such a good place myself that to help others get there too? Positioning yourself to being open to the right relationship, whether you need to find one or need to work within one you already have, takes time, dedication and care. I'd like to help others to be able to do that work in a focused manner. It also allows me to walk the walk, so to say. So, be on the lookout for some coaching opportunities to be announced.
What about you?
Are you celebrating whatever stage your love life is in? What work do you need to do to get to a greater level of happiness, appreciation or gratitude? Most importantly, what do you do to let your significant other know you're lucky to have them?
I thought there was no way for me to win for losing. I had given up. At 34 I was sitting pretty with a divorce under my belt and a good string of foolish and failed relationships. I was done and threw in the towel. Then a shy, sweet, adorable red headed man walked into my life. It was exactly what everyone says would happen the minute I stopped looking.
There are many times I look at my boyfriend and tell him that I still can't believe my luck. We both got lucky and that's not me tooting my own horn. We both agree that we felt the odds were stacked against us when it came to finding someone. Oddly, over the last year and a half we've realized that there were several times in the last ten years that we were in the same place at the same time and never noticed each other. It just wasn't then right time back then.
I'm also fortunate in that I'm free to love whoever I want. It wasn't always like this for people and still isn't in some places. I knew two girls in high school who were from Pakistan and I remember them telling me that someday their marriages would be arranged. I can only imagine what it was like 50 years ago when the ramifications for interracial relationships were vast. I also hate the fact that this still exists in that some groups are simply told their love just doesn't count.
So what am I going to do about it?
I tell my boyfriend every day how much I love him. I'm sure it's almost annoying. I can't help it. I'm completely nuts about they guy. I also want to recognize the fact that I worked hard to be in a place where this was able to happen for me and he did as well. When I started training to be a coach, I didn't have much focus. Thinking about this brings me around to something.
What I'd like to do is frame some work and coaching around relationships. How better to celebrate being in such a good place myself that to help others get there too? Positioning yourself to being open to the right relationship, whether you need to find one or need to work within one you already have, takes time, dedication and care. I'd like to help others to be able to do that work in a focused manner. It also allows me to walk the walk, so to say. So, be on the lookout for some coaching opportunities to be announced.
What about you?
Are you celebrating whatever stage your love life is in? What work do you need to do to get to a greater level of happiness, appreciation or gratitude? Most importantly, what do you do to let your significant other know you're lucky to have them?
30 Days of Gratitude - Day #12 - Free Enterprise
Put your money where your home isI live in the land of plenty. Whatever I need is readily available to me and I can often buy it from the comfort of my own home. Who doesn't love that? God bless the internet. The best thing I have going for me and free enterprise is being able to have choices in what I buy and where I buy it from. Sadly, I don't always make the best choices. Now, I am not talking about paying more for things out of convenience. I am one thrifty chick. I love a good deal. What I'm talking about it not buying things from the right places.
There are good companies and there are bad companies. Too many times I have bought goods or services and then realized that maybe that company is not the one where I want to send my hard earned money. As a result, profts grow for companies I really don't care to support and companies I can truly get behind suffer.
In the horrific economy we have I see store after store and company after company going under because they just can't keep the doors open. Last year, a landmark restaurant in Scottsdale, The Pink Pony, closed its doors for good and there was just no need for that to happen. I loved the place and somewhere in the back of my mind think that maybe I could have done more to support it. Then I think of the vast number of other places I love or that are doing great things that are being neglected because of that big beast called convenience.
So what am I going to do about it?
I'm going to be much more astute when it comes to free enterprise. Namely, I'm going to find the best company to use and every time possible I'm going to shop local. The Pink Pony was a steakhouse and saloon. Imagine what it would have meant for that business if people stopped going out to the crappy Outback on a Friday night and went to the Pink Pony instead. Outback has name recognition and marketing money a mile high. Pink Pony, not so much.
Here in Phoenix, a lovely and innovative lady named Kimber Lanning is known for being the shepherd of shopping locally. I met Kimber in 1992 when I spent a stupid amount of time in her record store, Stinkweeds . Several years ago she started a non-profit to support local businesses called Local First Arizona. The website can easily help me locate the mom and pop store or restaurant and help me avoid chains altogether. It's easy but sadly I don't do it nearly enough. I still find myself getting a coffee to go at Starbucks instead of driving the 5 minutes out of my way to go up to Press , a locally owned coffee place near my house. Press has far better coffee, adorable staff and it costs no more than Starbucks. My problem is just one of consistency and mindfulness.
I want to trade in the convenience in order to keep my money local and to help grow my local economy. I'd rather stay at a cute bed and breakfast, even if it costs $20 more a night than to hand over my money to Hilton and eventually help put vodka in Paris Hilton. Everywhere I look I see loads of info on local companies and just need to get off my duff and do want I can. I'm going to track what I buy in the next month or so and see what percentage of my expenses stayed in the Phoenix area and what went into the hands of big business. I'll shop at small independent booksellers instead of Barnes and Noble. Buy locally grown produce in season than stuff grown in other states or countries. It may cost a little bit more or take a little longer to get my errands run but I'll feel a hell of a lot better about the world.
What about you?
How can make better choices in your purchasing of goods and services? Where do you see the benefit? What impact do you think you can have?
30 Days of Gratitude - Day #11 - Sound Mind
I may be wastin
g my mind.
At the very least it feels like I am sometimes losing it. Honestly, I joke about it all the time. The reality is that I am remarkably sane for as crazy as I may act from time to time. I have moved through my life virtually unmedicated. I am free of generally irrational thought and despite being a horrific judge of character, make pretty sound decisions.
The funny thing about taking the fact that you have your wits about you for granted is that should I ever find myself not in my right mind, it would probably be too late to realize it. What's that saying about of all the things I've lost? One the other hand though, I can get myself stressed to the point of where I seriously start to question how healthy of a place my mind is. It's not horribly bad, but I shouldn't feel this was. Overwhelmed is one thing, over the edge is another.
Four years ago, when I was going through my divorce, I took up knitting. I was having a hard time sleeping having never had a place I didn't share with someone. At the end of the day, I couldn't shut my brain down. Laying in bed focusing on nothing but stitches was strangely therapeutic. Knit one, purl two, slip stitch knit. Repeat. It's quieting. These things make me realize that I am, essentially, in control of my own mind, reactions and can choose what my mind does with the info it receives.
So what am I going to do about it?
One of my biggest problems is stress. I am a single mom working a lot of long hard hours and I have a tendency to get completely overwhelmed and my brain fries. I burn out. I get get grumpy. In order to prevent this from happening and to try to save my sanity, I'm going to do the most non-type A thing I can think of and I'm going to attempt meditation. Yes, kids, I am going to sit still and not talk and not think. This, to me, is the best way I can think to celebrate having the capacity to function with a sound mind.
I have heard that meditation works wonders for the mind and can help people create balance and peacefulness and Lord knows I need that. I want to be more of a calm, cool and collected person. Now, I completely understand that I will remain a total spaz. There is no curing that. But, my mind I want to be more a more sane and zen place. A place that makes sense to me and isn't full of static so I can actually think and use that mind instead of losing it.
What about you?
What makes you scream? How do you pull yourself back from the deep end when you feel like you're standing right there? How do you quiet your mind when the picture gets fuzzy?
g my mind.At the very least it feels like I am sometimes losing it. Honestly, I joke about it all the time. The reality is that I am remarkably sane for as crazy as I may act from time to time. I have moved through my life virtually unmedicated. I am free of generally irrational thought and despite being a horrific judge of character, make pretty sound decisions.
The funny thing about taking the fact that you have your wits about you for granted is that should I ever find myself not in my right mind, it would probably be too late to realize it. What's that saying about of all the things I've lost? One the other hand though, I can get myself stressed to the point of where I seriously start to question how healthy of a place my mind is. It's not horribly bad, but I shouldn't feel this was. Overwhelmed is one thing, over the edge is another.
Four years ago, when I was going through my divorce, I took up knitting. I was having a hard time sleeping having never had a place I didn't share with someone. At the end of the day, I couldn't shut my brain down. Laying in bed focusing on nothing but stitches was strangely therapeutic. Knit one, purl two, slip stitch knit. Repeat. It's quieting. These things make me realize that I am, essentially, in control of my own mind, reactions and can choose what my mind does with the info it receives.
So what am I going to do about it?
One of my biggest problems is stress. I am a single mom working a lot of long hard hours and I have a tendency to get completely overwhelmed and my brain fries. I burn out. I get get grumpy. In order to prevent this from happening and to try to save my sanity, I'm going to do the most non-type A thing I can think of and I'm going to attempt meditation. Yes, kids, I am going to sit still and not talk and not think. This, to me, is the best way I can think to celebrate having the capacity to function with a sound mind.
I have heard that meditation works wonders for the mind and can help people create balance and peacefulness and Lord knows I need that. I want to be more of a calm, cool and collected person. Now, I completely understand that I will remain a total spaz. There is no curing that. But, my mind I want to be more a more sane and zen place. A place that makes sense to me and isn't full of static so I can actually think and use that mind instead of losing it.
What about you?
What makes you scream? How do you pull yourself back from the deep end when you feel like you're standing right there? How do you quiet your mind when the picture gets fuzzy?
30 Days of Gratitude - Day #10 - My family
I should know better.
There is nothing more important than family. There is nothing that should be cherished or celebrated more. I have a good group of winners, too. My family is a group of remarkable people. They are loving, thoughtful, and all funny as anything just in their own different ways.
I am lucky. I don't know what it's like to lose a family member. My grandmother, who I loved very dearly, passed away when I was five or so. It's the only time I've had to deal with that kind of loss. I've come close with my dad having heart problems and my mother having had breast cancer. Frankly, I have no idea what I would do if I ever lost either of them. Or my sister for that matter. No idea. I will never be ready for that.
What I do know is that though I'm not a bad daughter or sister, I could be better. I could be a lot better.
So what am I going to do about it?
I need to let them in. I am stubborn and prideful and don't accept help very easily. My family is there for that. They, more than anyone, love me stronger and more unconditionally and always will. I need to throw away my reservations of fear of judgment. I need to accept my imperfection and understand my own needs. I need to communicate that to them and let them help.
I need to call my dad. I call my mom. I called my mom on Friday when I had a complete meltdown when my daughter plotted all week to deceive me by hiding bad behavior notes from her teacher. I called my mom because I wanted my mommy. All weekend I have assumed that my dad, though he understood, probably wondered why I didn't call him. Why did I not ask for his advice? Why didn't I need his shoulder to cry on? I don't even know why. It's not that I didn't need him. Mom was just easier. I need to call just to talk to Dad. I hate the mere thought of not being able to do it.
I need to stop finding stupid reasons why it's too hard to see my sister. Yes, she lives in the middle of nowhere. But, how hard would it be to head out there and stay over night? Easy. She and I are queens of "we should do (fill in the blank.)" I am learning that "we should do (fill in the blank)" is fodder for open the door to taking people for granted.
What about you?
What would you do? Why not now? Love deep, my friends. Your family is greater than anything else you have.
There is nothing more important than family. There is nothing that should be cherished or celebrated more. I have a good group of winners, too. My family is a group of remarkable people. They are loving, thoughtful, and all funny as anything just in their own different ways.
I am lucky. I don't know what it's like to lose a family member. My grandmother, who I loved very dearly, passed away when I was five or so. It's the only time I've had to deal with that kind of loss. I've come close with my dad having heart problems and my mother having had breast cancer. Frankly, I have no idea what I would do if I ever lost either of them. Or my sister for that matter. No idea. I will never be ready for that.
What I do know is that though I'm not a bad daughter or sister, I could be better. I could be a lot better.
So what am I going to do about it?
I need to let them in. I am stubborn and prideful and don't accept help very easily. My family is there for that. They, more than anyone, love me stronger and more unconditionally and always will. I need to throw away my reservations of fear of judgment. I need to accept my imperfection and understand my own needs. I need to communicate that to them and let them help.
I need to call my dad. I call my mom. I called my mom on Friday when I had a complete meltdown when my daughter plotted all week to deceive me by hiding bad behavior notes from her teacher. I called my mom because I wanted my mommy. All weekend I have assumed that my dad, though he understood, probably wondered why I didn't call him. Why did I not ask for his advice? Why didn't I need his shoulder to cry on? I don't even know why. It's not that I didn't need him. Mom was just easier. I need to call just to talk to Dad. I hate the mere thought of not being able to do it.
I need to stop finding stupid reasons why it's too hard to see my sister. Yes, she lives in the middle of nowhere. But, how hard would it be to head out there and stay over night? Easy. She and I are queens of "we should do (fill in the blank.)" I am learning that "we should do (fill in the blank)" is fodder for open the door to taking people for granted.
What about you?
What would you do? Why not now? Love deep, my friends. Your family is greater than anything else you have.
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